Well, howdy there! Let’s gab a bit ‘bout makin’ somethin’ sweet and tasty, somethin’ called, uh… pumpkin sweetened condensed milk cream cheese, yeah, that’s the ticket. Sounds fancy, but it ain’t so hard, trust me on that.
First off, we gotta get ourselves some stuff. Like, for that there… whatchamacallit… pie crust, you know, the bottom part? You need flour, the plain kind, I reckon. And butter, but not that salty stuff, the unsalted one. A pinch of salt, some sugar, the white kind, and some cold water. That’s for the crust, mind you.
Now, for the gooey, yummy stuff inside, that pumpkin somethin’-somethin’, you’ll be needin’ pumpkin, but not the whole thing, just the… uh… puree. You know, the smashed-up pumpkin guts. You can buy it in a can, easy peasy. No need to go smashin’ pumpkins yourself, unless you got a hankerin’ to, I ain’t stoppin’ ya.
Anyways, let’s talk ’bout that cream cheese part. You gotta get a block of that cream cheese stuff, the kind you put on bagels, yeah, that’s it. Make sure it’s soft, though. You don’t want no lumpy bumpy stuff in your… pumpkin… thingy.
And then comes the sweet stuff, the sweetened condensed milk. That’s the stuff in the can, real thick and sticky and sweet like nothin’ else. Don’t go gettin’ the evaporated milk, that ain’t the same thing, not by a long shot. This here milk is sweet, like I said, real sweet.
- First, the crust: Mix that flour and salt together, then cut in the butter, cold butter mind you, till it looks like… well, like little pebbles, I guess. Then you add the cold water, bit by bit, till it all comes together into a ball. Don’t go kneadin’ it too much, just enough to make it stick. Then you roll it out, put it in your… pie… thingy… the dish, yeah, the pie dish.
- Next, the pumpkin stuff: You take that pumpkin puree, that cream cheese, and that sweet milk, and you mix it all up good. Real good. Till it’s all smooth and creamy and… you know… pumpkin-y. You can use a mixer if you got one, but a spoon works just fine too. I always just used a spoon, good enough for me.
- Then, put it all together: Pour that pumpkin mix into the crust. And bake it. I don’t know exactly how long, ’cause my old oven’s got its own mind. But you bake it till it’s set, till it don’t jiggle too much when you shake it. And the crust is golden brown, you know, pretty-like.
Now, some folks like to add spices, like cinnamon and… uh… what’s that other one? Nut… nutmeg, yeah, that’s it. And some ginger too. You can add them if you like, makes it smell real nice, real… fall-like, you know? But I don’t always bother. Plain pumpkin’s good enough for me. I ain’t fancy.
And some folks, they put whipped cream on top, but that’s just… well, it’s too much, I say. Too rich. This pumpkin stuff, it’s already rich enough, what with that cream cheese and that sweet milk. You don’t need more richness, trust me. But you do what you want, I ain’t the boss of ya.
So, there you have it. Pumpkin sweetened condensed milk cream cheese… somethin’. It ain’t hard to make, and it’s real tasty. Good for bringin’ to a potluck, or just eatin’ yourself, a little bit at a time. ‘Cause it’s rich, like I said. Real rich.
And listen here, don’t you go frettin’ if it ain’t perfect. Cooking ain’t ’bout perfect, it’s ’bout makin’ somethin’ tasty, somethin’ that fills your belly and makes you happy. And this here pumpkin stuff, it’ll do just that. You just gotta try it, and you’ll see. It’s real good, I tell ya, real good. Even an old woman like me can make it, so you can too.
And don’t forget, when you’re done bakin’, let it cool down a bit before you go cuttin’ into it. Otherwise, it’ll be all runny and messy. And nobody wants a runny, messy… pumpkin… thingy. Let it sit for a bit, let it cool, let it set up nice and firm. Then you can cut it and eat it and enjoy it. And maybe share a piece with your neighbor, if you’re feelin’ generous.
So, go on now, get yourself to the store, get your stuff, and make yourself some pumpkin sweetened condensed milk cream cheese. You won’t be sorry. And if you are, well… don’t come complainin’ to me! I just told you how to make it, I ain’t responsible for how it turns out! But seriously, it’ll be good. Just follow my… uh… instructions, and you’ll be fine.
And remember, don’t overthink it. It ain’t rocket science. It’s just pumpkin and cream cheese and sweet milk, all mixed up together and baked in a crust. Simple as that. So, get to it, and happy bakin’! And eatin’ too, of course. That’s the best part.
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