Alright, alright, let’s talk about makin’ them pineapple thingies dry, you know, like them prunes but with pineapple. We gonna use that there oven, yeah, the one you bake pies in. It ain’t hard, even this old woman can do it, so you young’uns better pay attention.
First off, you gotta get yourself a good pineapple. Don’t go pickin’ some green, hard thing. You want one that’s nice and ripe, kinda smells sweet and gives a little when you poke it. You know, like how you pick a good melon, same kinda deal. You find that perfect pineapple, then we get to workin’.
- Get yourself a good knife, a sharp one, mind you. Don’t wanna be sawin’ at that thing all day.
- Cut off the top, the bottom, and all that rough skin. Just like you’re peelin’ a potato, but bigger.
- See them little brown pokies, them eyes? Gotta get rid of them too. Just slice ’em off, easy peasy.
Now, you got this naked pineapple, right? Next thing is, you gotta slice it up. Not too thick, not too thin. Think like, a quarter of an inch, you know, like a thick potato chip. If you make ’em too thick, they gonna take forever to dry, and if they too thin, they gonna burn up like nothin’.
Now, here comes the important part, the oven part. Turn that oven on, but don’t go crankin’ it up high like you’re bakin’ a cake. You want it low, real low, the lowest it’ll go. Mine goes down to somethin’ called… ‘low’, I guess that’s low enough. If yours got numbers, just pick the lowest one.
Get yourself a bakin’ sheet, one of them flat pans. And don’t just throw them pineapples on there naked, no sir. Put some paper on it, they call it parchment paper, keeps things from stickin’. If you ain’t got that fancy paper, just use some foil, shiny side up, that’s what I do sometimes.
Lay out them pineapple slices on the pan, don’t go crammin’ ’em all on top of each other. Give ’em some space, let ’em breathe, you know? Then, stick that pan in the oven. Now, this ain’t a quick thing, it takes time. We ain’t in a rush, are we? Gotta be patient, like waitin’ for them tomatoes to ripen in the garden.
It’ll take a good while, maybe six, maybe eight hours, maybe even longer. It all depends on your oven and how thick you cut them pineapples. You gotta keep an eye on ’em, though. Don’t just go watchin’ your stories and forget about ’em. Check on ’em every now and then, flip ’em over so they dry even.
You’ll know they’re done when they ain’t sticky no more, kinda leathery, you know? Like them dried apricots you buy at the store. They shouldn’t be hard as rocks, but they shouldn’t be squishy either. Just right, kinda chewy.
Once they done, take ’em out and let ’em cool. Then you can put ’em in a jar, a bag, whatever you got. They’ll keep for a good long while, if you don’t eat ’em all up first. These dried pineapples are good for snackin’, puttin’ in your oatmeal, or even bakin’ with. My grandkids love ’em, specially that little whippersnapper, Mikey.
So there you have it, that’s how you dry pineapples in the oven. It ain’t rocket science, just takes a little time and patience. Now go on, get yourself a pineapple and get to dryin’. You’ll thank me later.
And one more thing, don’t you go throwin’ away them pineapple scraps! You can use that core and skin to make pineapple vinegar, it’s real good for cleanin’ and such. Nothin’ goes to waste in this house, I tell ya. Waste not, want not, that’s what my mama always said. And she was a smart woman, that mama of mine.
Anyways, that’s all I got to say about dryin’ pineapples. You got any questions, ask your neighbor, not me. I’m goin’ to sit down and have a cup of tea. My old bones are tired.
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